Wishing you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR
On behalf of the CMCCF team, I bring to all our friends and readers good wishes for a special year. We hope that 2025 will be a year full of adventures and opportunities, successes and infinite possibilities for you and your family. Maybe you’re seeking stable employment; or you’re looking for a resolution to challenging intergenerational conflict in your own families or communities; you may be struggling while accessing the settlement or career services you need; or maybe you’re worrying about your loved ones being back home in another country far away, not being safe.
Given we are all unique beings at different stages in our lives, the one-size-bouquet carrying the same flowers will not satisfy all of us alike. I hope then that this new year brings you the ability to hold space for the needs and aspirations you have at this stage in your lives. And I guess that if we have the means to explore and better understand what we ourselves need, together with the freedom and clarity to name it, and the courage to make the right choices, that perhaps is a good enough start to move us in the right direction for the fulfilment of our wishes. And these may also be the best blessings we can wish and hope for-for each other…
Sending out a WISH into the universe
If you asked me to close my eyes and make a wish on a larger scale though, for example, the one thing that I might wish for us all without any exceptions- it would be for a world where we live peacefully with each other, and where each individual-wherever geographically in the world they may be situated-can lead their life in a violence-free environment, feeling safe and being valued for who they are, in a society and a world where they are treated with respect and dignity, and where they can access equal opportunities. These seem like simple uncomplicated new year wishes, don’t they? And if we were to examine them from a philosophical perspective, I’m sure they seem reasonable too, right (at least in theory)? Are these realistic, practical, achievable though, I ask? If we don’t see them as achievable, or possible, we must go on and ask the next question-why?
But let’s think a bit deeper: why should the above scenario and expectation-of a peaceful and just world- be accessible to a privileged few people, or only for some individuals in some communities, living in certain regions in the world, but out of the reach of those living in other parts of the globe? Is it fair that this should be the case?
Wishing for fairness, justice, peace and human rights for all-is it a `real place’ or a utopia?
To carry the above argument a bit further, am I then blowing a wish (that can never be fulfilled) into the universe- for fairness and justice, dignity and peace? Having lived in the world as we know it, for multiple decades-should I not know that such a wish, indeed, such a worldview of the world-as fair, just, and peaceful- is an idyllic utopia and not exactly the architectural template upon which our real world was constructed? Shall we then give up thinking and talking of new year wishes on such a big scale but stay happy simply in our own little dream-bubbles, sending wishes to each other that keep us securely within loops of certain words-hoping our loved ones enjoy a year full of happiness, good health, joy, and endless possibilities? And shall we stop at that limited goal, not daring to dream bigger?
Making another (universal) wish
Ah well…the problem with the above argument is that it has little potential to energise, inspire, or uplift any of us stepping into a brand-new year, or disrupt the unequal power-play that is a kind of norm we see around us, and so maybe I should try again!
So, what other kind of wishes can we send out to each other this new year, I wonder: what good wishes are more universal in their scope and may be applicable more widely, even with the existent dissimilarities between individuals and groups, communities and nations? Perhaps, since challenges are quite universal, and as individuals and communities, when we live with each other in relationships, there is always potential for differences of opinion to manifest, leading to struggles and conflicts; and there are bound to be competing interests or ugly fighting for resources- as these are often limited. If this were not the case, why would fundamental theories like `survival of the fittest’ shape our thinking and our behaviours?
Are Conflicts a natural way of life then? Are they universal?
In other words, conflicts are the essential stuff of life, be they at the interpersonal family level, or in professional workplace contexts; they may spring from identity-differences, or result from cultural, ethnic, and religious factors. Politics enters the realm always; with vested interests further muddying the waters, escalating conflicts, causing suffering, displacement, violence and destruction for those with poor resources, those that have less power and privilege. These are also often the only people not at fault, they have no stakes in the conflict, and so these acts of violence are named `collateral damage.’ We know well that world wars and genocides have been part of the fabric of our history and society for ages, and in the present too, nations are at war with each other as I write this post in January 2025.
Practicing Conflict Resolution
If we agree with the scenario I have painted above, then perhaps what is important is to work on our abilities to negotiate and mediate, to develop good communication skills so we can become better at sharing our stories and our understandings with each other, being a bit less selfish too as this will help us see our neighbors and their needs too, in addition to focusing only on our own greedy aspirations.
If we can do this, it can in turn help us lead from a place of heart, being fair and kind; this will also make us better listeners, leading us to developing within ourselves, more compassion and empathy, not just for friends and loved ones, but also for strangers. Being positive and acting from a place of forgetting and forgiving each other, including working with hope and optimism rather than negativity and adversarial attitudes can help us to integrate these forward-looking traits in our personality; taking them forward to shape a better world through our thoughts, attitudes and our actions.
Changing our relationship with Conflict
If we can do the above, then conflict may really be a positive way to move forward-something we accept as a normal part of life rather than a scary face we fear, avoid, or ignore; or worse, a monster we push under the rug, pretending it does not exist, believing that it will all go away, and that everything will be fine. How about we try to change our relationship with conflict in this new year, embrace it rather than be afraid of it, seeing it more as an opportunity rather than just a crisis that must be managed, or avoided at all costs? Certainly, in an ideal world, conflicts must be managed, resolved, even prevented, as they also carry serious potential to destroy relationships, families, communities. But in the meantime, we can also learn from the teaching moments conflicts can help create.
As I learned when I studied the peacebuilding and conflict resolution field in some depth, the only way to deal with conflicts in a sustainable manner is to transform the unequal power-based relationships that cause them in the first place (root cause theory is one of the ways to get into this). (we will talk more on these topics in my next post). While developing communication skills to address conflict scenarios is significant in terms of tools and strategies; but for long term peacebuilding to be a reality-be it between individuals, communities or nations- it is even more important to focus on fostering respectful and caring relationships with each other across differences that divide and separate us. This may also be an important milestone in our own journey towards inner peace.
Do try it, see if a conflict situation can be your teacher, maybe it can make you more mindful about the anger or resentments you are holding inside. Maybe, working together with a loved one to resolve the argument you just had could be an opportunity to develop patience and interpersonal skills, practice communication strategies and also kindness; maybe you were able to reflect on your own mistakes, and find the grace within to apologise, or create the space to finally forgive.
In the New Year, I will…
I took a group writing workshop recently where the facilitators asked us to speed-write for 7 mins, in response to the following writing prompt: In the New Year, I will…..
Maybe you would like to try your hand at this reflection and writing exercise?
Until we meet again, have fun, and take good care!
The views expressed in this blog post are mine, and I take full responsibility for them. We are always wanting to hear from you – please share your thoughts and feedback by completing our contact form here or by emailing hello@cmccfamilies.ca.
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